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[05 Feb 2010|12:18am] |
We stopped and stood together
Under the sky,
Which reddened towards darkness
With towering teeth
Biting towards the falling sun.
We spoke of how
We fell as drifting
Falling leaves that clung to summer
And how the park ached
With the oncoming autumn.
We held hands and watched
As the birds circled overhead
We said nothing then
Just waited there
For the summer to end.
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[13 Sep 2009|11:28am] |
THANKYOU FOR POSTING THIS, ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) st_xjimmy
I CANNOT STOP SQUEEING <3
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| need people to read the first draft of my novel |
[21 Aug 2009|11:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 curious |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Brand New//Limousine |
] |
Since I started writing my book, pandagore and I have had a deal where she reads my novel at points along the way to see where it's going.
By November I hope to have finished my first draft of this beast. I plan to read through it, edit it, and then send it to two, maybe three friends to read.
What I would like from this is an honest review, and maybe some thoughts on structure/narrative content/language/mistakes/points for improvement. Please don't feel as though you have to say it's good if you think it's shit, etc.
Next month I'm going to send off a few chapters and a synopsis to different literary agents, so things will start properly then.
However I know how much you guys love books. Even if our tastes vary enormously, you all have quite a large range of literary interests, and this can only be beneficial to the writing process.
You would need to want to read it, be able to finish it in say, 2/3 months and have time to maybe e-mail me and let me know what you think (or we could do it over AIM or something.)
Two or three people would be awesome.
Thanks guys.
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| So many dreams, overshadowed |
[11 Aug 2009|09:08pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 thoughtful |
] |
| [ |
music |
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Tori Amos//Winter |
] |
Sometimes I feel like a burden for many people; not because of my depression or my ever-changing state of mental health, but because of being simply a symbol of previous years. I was someone you travelled with, I was there on tours but now you don't know how to let me go, how to tell me I am no longer relevant to your life.
We are on different pages of perhaps different books, and I am no longer the person I was. None of us are. Focuses and ambitions change, our future landscapes flicker and go out, only to light a different path we hadn't previously considered. I am a username now, one that pops up on a friends list. Easily ignored. Not that I'm an angel in any of this; one, twice removed, months drifting and people become memories, tweets and status updates. Is this all we are to each other, now? Are those who can see each other the only ones to be retained in the same groups, old times not just relegated to memory but part of the landscape now? I'm alien to the concept of keeping in touch, a lifetime's worth of habit drilled into me by shifting tides of necessity, a youth of flashing faces that fade into a crowd of unknowns. Good ship Past, I do not remember your crew, but I am grateful for the journey.
Words pull and nudge me forward, but also hurt me. I guess the nursery rhyme taught me nothing but high expectations that cannot easily be met. Maybe I am regretting my inability to paddle in normality, maybe it has served me well. I fear this is a question life cannot answer until I have served more time living within the walls of years, shifting slowly from this timer that sits on a shelf not too far from yours.
What are we to each other? What will we be? Am I someone you still look upon fondly, or am I an irrelevance that nips at your heels, awaiting an answer? Will you, did you miss me? Have you ever missed me? Or has time made me seem grotesque, a person whose association you wish to shirk off?
Life offers complications I find mirrored in the words I write, characters of my own creation questioning me, unblinking. Terrified, I cannot answer, so I keep on writing, waiting for an epiphany of reason. Maybe I am not meant to find out. Maybe this is why we live so earnestly, waiting for the ultimate epiphany which will answer all.
I am still waiting.
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| heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeelp. |
[06 May 2009|11:05pm] |
Many of you may be aware that I am writing a novel.
I say this quite frequently, as every couple of years I go through a bluster of ideas, most of which end up suspended in an incomplete state on my hard drive, never to be touched, read or expanded again.
But sometimes, every couple of years, I find an idea working. And I stick with it. The idea this time has now comfortably moved into the category of "novel-in-process". The main focuses of the book, mental illness and the impact of music upon individuals, communities and friendships, are ones I know very well through personal experience or otherwise. (I promise you, the novel does not read as dire as it sounds. I simply do not wish to reveal too much, in case I 'curse' its creation.)
However, in order for this book to truly work I need to ask people who have similiar loyalities and love towards music. Most of my friends I have met through music. Even my friends from school I know through musical tastes. A lot of my newer friends I know via a musician who I became friends with after seeing 'his' band FAR too many times (not always directly on purpose, mind you- the band in question were once supporting at nearly every gig I went to, EVER, but I digress.)
Here is the question I want to ask of you.
There is one scene in the book where one of the main characters gives an account of the first time she heard a piece of music, and the impact it had upon her, which was immediate, enlightening, and in her case, life-changing.
I want to know how you would describe that moment of discovery, the songs that made you sit up and change direction, the ones that still get you, no matter how many times you have heard it. The songs that are essential to, or seem to document and outline your existence. The songs that have truly opened doors to friends and experiences. I know they exist in other people's lives, I know my experiences of the power of music are not isolated.
Don't worry about sounding cheesy, or ridiculous, or being amazingly eloquent. Any account or description would help enormously.
And if this ever gets published...I will thank you publically, hopefully within the book itself if I can.
Please either reply to this note, or if you feel too embarrassed or wish to remain anonymous, e-mail me at apoeticmindset@t-mobile-sidekick.co.uk.
And also...if you could tell me which songs they were, that would be amazing, and if you can think of songs that you feel people SHOULD know, that would also be incredible.
Thank you. I know it's a lot to ask but it would help more than you could imagine.
Much love xox
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| Our Boys, Our Boys |
[15 Apr 2009|11:18pm] |
They came back from the dead
well, they're long dead yet
We're cheering their names
and praising them as heroes,
our boys, our dreams, fighting so we can be free
They claim, bold and high as News of The World bold headlines,
The Fox Network, CNN reporting under names
Our boys cannot abide.
Our boys are not our boys
When the idea of ownership is laughable
We sold them as slaves under yellow ribbon tirades
Punctuated with bullets that tore through the air,
chanting their names.
You carry your patriotism as a flag,
they carry yours, heavy on their backs,
hanging them, dragging them slowly
Through the dust of countries you cannot pronounce,
Nor care to place on a map.
Our soldiers, their soldiers, but
Not their own people;
Not minds and bodies with dreams,
But bodies dreaming of where that leg was
And where that arm that still clenches should be.
But is no longer there,
A silenced voice crying out for an audience to see
The price of your patriotism is your health insurance fee
And our boys, our boys, their names fall empty
In droves and lists they fall across the sea.
I remember their names; I carry them with me.
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[02 Mar 2009|01:07am] |
A blog I have been threatening to restart for a while is now up on blogspot!
Thinking In Subtitles
The first blog is obviously about Slumdog Millionaire. I would love it if people read it. No dice if you don't though, I don't mind too much :)
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| end-of-month-ly meme |
[04 Feb 2009|11:08pm] |
MONTHLY MEME
In the last month, I have been...
Watching Slumdog Millionaire at the cinema (and nearly being snowed in, haha), Power Of Art...and Question Time. A life, I do not have one!
Listening to Natty. I am so obsessed with this album (Man Like I), I really can't stop listening to it. Also, Circa Survive and Thrice again. *squeaks* oh, how could I forget THURSDAY. New album soon, eek eek eeeeeek! I am legit dying of excitement. I haven't bought Leathermouth yet kids because no-one has it because the suppliers are cunts!
Reading House Lights by Leah Hager Cohen, which is a beautiful book, I thoroughly recommend it. I started House Of Leaves but was stalled because I was worried I couldn't give it the attention it deserves. I am STILL reading Moab Is My Washpot (Stephen Fry's autobiography) and I am nowhere near finished. This could be a record for me in how long it takes me to read something!
Lusting after still, the answer points to Lars Frederiksen. Also Riz Ahmed (sp?) of Dead Set, Frank Iero (again). Also, annoyingly, after I stop lusting after one mate, my brain decides it's a fabulous idea to make me fancy the pants off another one. My friends, they need to stop being attractive. AND WHERE IS MY GAY? Is it hiding?!
Attending the last ever Astoria show, which made me very sad. I grew up in and out of that venue effectively and I know for many other people it's the same. But despite the sadness of the occasion I saw a lot of people I love dearly (Charli, Emily, Natt, Jo, Frantastic I believe, Jas, Itch, Tommy...and a buttload of other people) and had a great time, so all in all it was a great goodbye to such a legendary venue...even if it's just going to be turned into PAVEMENT. URGH, don't get me started!
Avoiding people after a huge en-masse falling out at the start of the year. I think it's mostly okay now though.
Looking forward to moving back to London, hanging out with the people I've become friends with in the last year, spending more time around him (sigh, I hate having crushes on friends) and FINALLY going vegan. Acetastic!
Also glad the work dramallamas are over
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[15 Jan 2009|08:53pm] |
LOL I just got stoned with my manager and my mate
Too fucking funny
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[25 Dec 2008|10:42pm] |
Please click meeeee
I need to sponsor a player on howrse.com to go up to the next level!
pllleeeeaaaasssseeee register! You don't even have to play :) (although I recommend it, it's loads of fun.)
HAPPY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! :)
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[12 Dec 2008|09:37am] |
IS ANYONE UP RIGHT NOW?
help, Morrissey tickets are on sale at 10am and the fucking electrician is coming before so I can't be online
I NEED THESE TICKETS
I need to go to a manchester one :(
Help? Please?!
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| it's that time of the month again! |
[02 Dec 2008|08:24pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Q Tip//We Fight/We Love |
] |
...no, not that, you dirty fuckers!
THE MONTHLY MEME. Oh yes.
In the last month, I have been...
Watching Waltz With Bashir, which is an incredibly powerful film. I can't even begin to describe how essential this film is. Also, Monkey Dust, which was a super twisted animated show from the early part of this decade. Delightfully wrong, and so right for it. Also, SVU. I kinda love SVU. I've also been watching Big Train...we put it on at work and my face was aglow with delight at Simon Pegg, Catherine Tate and Mark Heap being generally amazing.
Listening to THE NEW Q TIP ALBUM, OMG, OMG. And Rancid, in anticipation of the tour. Seriously, I listened to Rancid so much that to some people it would be torturous. Not for me though :p
Reading this super weird book called Atmospheric Disturbances by Rivka Galchen. It's the first book in ages I've struggled with. I think it's all the meteorology lingo.
Lusting after hmmm, let me think...it starts with "Lars" and ends in "Frederiksen."
Hey, he's the one that kissed me :D again. LOLOL. I've had the most ridiculous crush on him since I was 12.
As regards BoyFace...I've given up on him like that. It's just...weird. His life, I cannot keep up with it.
Attending a buttload of gigs: Rancid mostly, King Blues, Housmans/Laura's, KB again, Dirty Rev... I miss the Rancid tour the most though.
Avoiding spending money, because I made myself very poor with all the Rancid stuff.
Looking forward to the Rancid tour. And seeing Jas& that crew, because I missed them loads! And hanging out with Kerrissey, because she's the best ever.
Also having a hard time and finally doing something about it. Eep.
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[16 Nov 2008|07:44pm] |
Hehehehehehehehe,
Emma is funny,
She likes cider nom nom nom.
She is loving the rancid london dates, and charl is amazing =]
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[05 Oct 2008|07:33pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Ani DiFranco//Self Evident |
] |
Tbh I don't even know if anyone reads my journal anymore, but this is really important to me.
Some of you may have read me talking about Canvases For Cures. Some of you may know what it is, some of you don't; the crux of it is, I believe art and music can heal. I want to gain a wealth of artwork by artists, musicians, fans, which we will document in a book, as well as selling on to create a profit for three charities. We believe the NSPCC, Macmillan Cancer Support and Samaritans cover many things we want to help out with. Eventually, we will take on more cause and projects, but that's the main part of it.
We want it to benefit a lot of people without voices, people without hope, people who have lost something. We want to tackle the taboo behind these issues, create dialogues, nurture communities, all through the power of art and music.
Please join ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) canvases4cures and add us on MySpace.
Thankyou guys, it really does mean the earth if you've already joined, and it would mean a lot if you did join :)
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| help me! |
[10 Aug 2008|05:24pm] |
Icarus Ascending Apparel
Or
Icarus Ascending Clothing?
I want to have something for my clothing and modifying stuff...I've been looking at fabrics today to start making clothes and bags, stuff like that.
I need to make a myspace for it and an e-mail and I need a name, so help!
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[19 Mar 2008|09:46pm] |
| [ |
music |
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Smokey purring :D |
] |
Please answer this anonymously. And be honest.
Me.
Would you go there?
Seriously.
X
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